“making your communities stronger and helping prevent alcohol & substance abuse”

I mentioned getting a gift basket in yesterday’s post, the title of this post is from the note included in that basket.

“Thank you for your dedication to making your communities stronger and helping prevent alcohol & substance abuse”

You are welcome!  I embrace this thank you!  Because I know it’s true!  Okay I have to make an “i’m not arrogant disclosure here”, I’m not being arrogant it is true. 

See SCVRJP DOES engage community members. 

“stenghten the community” It’s a great prevention mantra and a great goal of many agencies – to be community partners, to be accessed by the community.  Yet – - what happens is that it stops at “clients”.  Because if people make up a community, then serving people, means you’ve engaged the community.  To me, community means bystanders.

Does a school do a good job at community engagement, just because parents come in the building.  Not in my opinion.  Can they bring in local artists, local business owners, what about community members on the fringe.  I heard of classroom program that adopts a single Mom and infant.  Mom and child visit the classroom and the kids practice and learn empathy by watching baby’s face, for cues.  Happy, sad, frustrated.  That’s just another example.

It strengthens community when you change peoples lives.  Not just the lives of your ’service recipients’ the lives of your volunteers, your board members, the people who you pass in the building.

I was out socially recently.  Having a few beers one of the men in the group was pretty outspoken.   He finally said something like “you can stop recruiting anytime”.  He was teasing a bit, but it was funny because it was true.  See I have learned that telling you about Restorative Justice is great, you can catch my enthusiasm.  Get you in a session – it changes you.  You never really understand it until you’ve been part of it.  That’s how you make a community stronger, person by person regardless of who the person is or what other communities they might be part of.

We all have multiple communities.  For me, professional network in River Falls community.  I  have a community of RJ pracition friends, I have a facebook, twitter community.  I have a basketball Mom community, a few good friends community.  I feel like I am in a community with teachers, since I do so many trainings with them.  I am in a single Mom community – only those of us doing that day in and day out get to understand that.  Being a single woman is another community.

Basically we need to embrace that we are all part of one overall larger connected community.  Victims, offenders, board members, strangers on the street and people who say yes to my grant requests – they could cross into anyone of my communities.  Just like you – we share multiple communities, and everyone we touch – touches someone else.

Make your community stronger, by being stronger.

Small acts of kindness go a long way – and Restorative Justice is effective for being personal.

I am in beautiful Boise Idaho.  The 2nd Annual Northwest Alcohol Conference – it’s already seeming like it will be a good conference.  Last night in our hotel room, my daughter and I were starteled by a knock at the door.  Surely, they must have the wrong room, “I have a delivery for you”.  What!?  I spent a little time with an ex boyfriend, would he send something?

It was a basket of goodies from conference director!  Welcoming me, thanking me for presenting and the basket was full of Idaho produced items.  We had a water bottle, teas, chocolates, cinnamon flavor popcorn.  I got an example postcard and bookmark, reminding people underage that even one drink is impairment.  The sentiment was the most fun!  My daughter and I camped out on her bed, looked all the items over.  Before we left the airport, we heard about the Idaho candy potato.  Potato shaped marshmallow covered in chocolate, rolled in coconut, we examined it but didn’t taste.

So I am here to present on using Restorative Justice to address Underage Drinking and Drunk Driving.  My source is going to be the success of the SCVRJP underage consumption panels and victim impact panels.  I’ll use the data that we collect at these panels, the evaluation forms, which shows that people feel strongly immediately after the class.  The make strong public statements of behaving differently.  I believe they work.  I strongly and firmly believe in Restorative Justice.

I am trying to work out another diversion program.  I’ve been negotiating with our local district  attorney/prosecutor, I was more of the case and sooner.  I’d like the diversion program to mean a few less court appearance.  I’d like the community conference outcomes to be ahead not behind what is finally “ordered”, so that our conference ‘work’ is endorsed by the court.  See I am working on making waves and not rocking the boat.  For me, ideally, there would not be one court hearing – you would go to Restorative Justice and if that didn’t work – the traditional system.  PLEASE NOTE – I am not talking about violent crimes.  I am talking about ‘car shopping’, smoking pot, fighting at school, drunken destruction of property.  Things that I think a good session of Restorative Justice and those in attendance (community members) could monitor any obligations (community service, restitution). 

See when Restorative Justice and the formal system address crime – similar outcomes can be listed, like community service.  That makes sense you right a wrong.  The formal system does it to punish, and Restorative Justice does it to repair.  We give the lesson with the support of other people, personally.

I was on the phone with a young person who had called the Center to sign up for an underage class.  I said, “who sent you here”, he said “the courts”.  I laughed a little (we work with 7 different courts).  His view is of “authoritative agency” – not a person.  After last nights Underage class . . . you can bet every single kid there knows that Catherine, Kyle, Gerry and Max care.  If you asked who was at Restorative Justice – they say a name, a person.  Okay, sometimes they forget the name, but they don’t forget the story.  “the guy that talked about killing his friend, man that was heavy, he’s really strong”.

So why does Restorative Justice work so well . . . because it’s personal!  Personal makes all the difference.  That gift basket – worth its weight in GOLD – because it was a small, random, unnecessary act of kindness.  The added touch gave me a sense of “belonging” and being part of the conference.  Sitting with volunteer community members because they “care” is also a small and random act of kindness.  Yet, very necessary because it is really makes a difference in helping people turn things around!

Restorative Justice needed for some Twitter perspective, my idea at being social media restorative justice queen.

Okay, I’m feeling silly.  My silly moods aren’t very mature.  I am also feeling pretty open right now.  Willing to explain something I have found funny.  It also lends to the context of sharing openly.  I found someone with worse boundaries than mine, when it comes to posting.  Remember my friend “I write it in my diary and you put it in your blog”.

It begins awhile ago.  I decided I wanted to be the person who knew how best to promote restorative justice via social media.  So blogging and facebooking and twittering were starts.  I’m thinking I’ve done okay, when I was at a class reunion this weekend, more than one person commented on my constant updates regarding Restorative Justice.

On Twitter – - I’ve had some challenges.  A few really awesome connections.  Now I’m getting “soft porn” followers, for lack of a better word.  Gosh I want the old days back, where I didn’t have to be super careful and worried about who I allowed and followed back.  I’m grieving the past and Twitter isn’t even that old!

I also need Restorative Justice for understanding some people.  I am not kidding, a post said “started the day with runny poop”.  WHAT?  (this is my reference to someone sharing more than I do).  As if I want to know this about you?  Could you not spell diarrhea?  I am laughing now, but my goodness I couldn’t bring myself to follow someone who would say that!  I should be more inclusive.

I search for Restorative Justice in tweets, then I respond or follow people who mention RJ.  It’s clearly my focus on Twitter.  When I saw the “runny poop” post, I felt well . . . a little offended, a little disappointed in the person, concerned even – yes a little.  Very odd I know.

Is it possible to match up Restorative Justice and Social Media?  Could we use restorative philosophy?  I like the RJOB – they put good guidelines/customs for people communicating.  What I read on Twitter is anybody’s guess these days.  I’m going to stick to Restorative Justice, and keep my fecal status private.

Responding to ‘restorative justice’ doesn’t work in schools.

Dr Hillary Cremin, a former teacher from Cambridge University is getting attention for saying Restorative Justice in schools doesn’t work.  I don’t really see a great deal of why or how she knows this.  I think there might be more evidence that status quo wasn’t working.  Just my perspective . . .

To read the article – click here.

Kay Pranis, author of Peacemaking Circles taught me to listen to everyone.  I like trying to pull kids who are critical of Circle into the Circle further.  I tell them, they can make it better by voicing their perspectives.

Thank you Ms. Cremin.  But may I please have the talking piece.

Bullies do not “escape” punishment when Restorative Justice is used in schools.  It is far more difficult to face your peers, and explain yourself than it is to stay home from school for a day or three.  Letting your peers be part of your plan to make it right – means more eyes are on you for follow through.  There is more accountabily when more people are involved in conflict resolution.  

When I hear critics say Restorative Justice is “soft-touch” I know they haven’t attended a session.  Because I tell you what, hearing someone tell their story of loss and reaction to crime.  That is no soft-touch, your heart aches, your stomach gets butterflies, your throat gets a lump you can’t escape what is going on right there in front of you.  Offenders hear that right along side community members, parents, peers and guess what, now we all know.  And we are all invested in you making it right.

I have had teachers share many stories – the Principal, in good intention – creates a “punishment”.  Students look to that and see a reward.  “Why did he get to help you with the sign out front?” was asked of a Principal in a Circle.  That punishment didn’t take hold and we were Circling for a better solution.  In School-based Restorative Justice (when done correctly and completely), parents are part of developing a solution.  Formal/current models just have parents scrambling to figure out how to get off work, or manage an “offender” at home.

Restorative Justice in schools allows students that have misbehaved an opportunity to demonstrate they are better than that past mistake.  They are given guidance and a path to repair the wrong.  Having a former “bully” become engaged in pro-social activity, helps shift him from his label of bully.  Where in the formal punishment/current school model do we allow transformation/change/healing?  In the detention room, at home during suspension/expulsion?

I appreciate Dr. Cremin’s point that schools need to encourage students to adopt strong values and and anti-bullying culture.  I think that is one of the primary reasons School-based Restorative Justice is so effective – used as both a culture shaping and conflict resolution tool.  You have to do both for school-based restorative justice to be effective.  As I highlighted in past posts, Restorative Justice in Schools – is a primary, secondary and tertiary response.

Returning to the article, which mentions “milder” forms of bullying are being handled by Peer Mediation or Circle of Friends.  Well – there is no such thing as Peer Mediation in Restorative Justice.  That would be something else.  Circle of Friends could be a classroom management or climate technique.  In Restorative Justice – there is no “milder” form of bullying.  Harm is in the eye of the beholder.  To rank a behavior as mild or severe seems like the retributive model.  In Restorative Jusitce – harm is harm, wrong-doing is wrong-doing and what you need to do to make it right (by returning to right relationships).  Youth in a school community develop their climate and culture, are empowered to do so to keep everyone physcially and emotionally safe.  We know name calling can harm deeper than a punch in the face.

I need to highlight that I am not sure who is hailing the technique as a cure-all.  As quoted.  I suspect that Restorative Justice in schools is getting some worthy attention because of specific outcomes that can be identified.  Schools are seeing reduced suspension, expulsion, student misconduct being reduced.  I am not sure that other violence prevention programs could produce these results therefore being large enough to paint a target on.  I think Ms. Cremin targeted Restorative Justice in schools and said it didn’t work without fully investigating and understanding what it is. 

Further investiation, questions that could come up . . .

Take a look at a school mission statement and compare that to the discipline model, are they congruent?  A school will prepare for physcial safety with fire and tornado drills, what do they do to prepare for emotionally safety? 

The article mentions policies that advocate a no-blame approach can put pupils at-risk.  Victims of bullying can become even more distressed because they feel nothing is being done to end their torment. School-based Restorative Justice doesn’t promote this kind of approach.  Why are these statements even in this article?  Restorative Justice engages the community, students victims or bystanders are part of the process.  They are not left feeling nothing is being done, they are being utilized as a resource to respond to the wrong-doing.

One final beef, and I’ve had my say.  Why does the article show toddlers when the discussion is about Restorative Justice in Schools?

okay – just one more . . . I hope someone looks at Youth Court and warns that the outcomes aren’t positive.

Back from a break, inhale, exhale . . . circles go round and round.

I am just back from an awesome vacation!  I took off the end of last week and the beginning of this week.  I traveled back to South Dakota, to the family farm.  We celebrated my Dad’s 70th birthday.  Most of the weekend was a surprise to him.  My stepMom, really did it up, getting a gathering at the farm to happen and then sponsoring a local dance.

I needed the time away from work.  A break from the routine, to appreciate how great the routine is.

On the 8 hour drive home, I realized it may be one of the last trips daughter and I make home together.  She’s almost 18, ready to enter her Senior year of high school.  We did what we have done for years when we arrive home, a brief stop at the cemetery.  My Mom, Grandparents, Great Uncle and other family members are buried there.  It’s what we do, everytime.  Occassionally if we don’t do it the way there, we do it when we leave.  I mentioned waiting to visit there on the way back.  Kylie urged me to visit, it made me comforted to know she valued this tradition.  She cleared mowed grass from a few headstones.  I remember taking her there as a baby, leaving her in the car, or when she was a toddler and didn’t quite understand.  Now it is full Circle, she appreciates the visit and she is comfortable with our visit.

I SO enjoyed my family this visit.  I made 45 egg rolls for everyone.  I got to hold my newest nephew at 5 weeks, and newest niece at 5 months.  The teens and I had fun laughing and joking.  I was very proud to be my fathers oldest daughter.  Out on the farm, neighbors and friends go back generations.  There were 57 people at the farm, I don’t remember ever seeing that many cars in our driveway.  To launch the suprise the kids and I helped set up chairs, frost cupcakes and clean as grandma “ordered” us to do.

I went out on the town, so to speak.  Caught up with my best friend, and the class of ‘84 celebrating a 25 year reunion.  It was fun to see people that I haven’t in years.  Good friends from college you forget to keep track of.

The last evening out was camping with my best friend and daughter.  We stayed in a little cabin, and the outdoors was a blessing.  We got a firefly light show to remember.  The peace and conversation around the campfire was heartwarming.

Sigh – smile – feel blessed.

Back to my life – time to blog again, executive director tasks and reacclimate to life as I know it.

Yet – I’m not the same.  The inhale and exhale of life – we need to do both.  Give and Take.  Each day is a little different and a little the same.  Its all full Circle.

Blessings.

How Restorative Justice impacted a former cop and a former delinquent.

I was in my hometown coffee shop today, waiting to meet with some volunteers.  I recognized a customer, took me a moment to place that he was my financial guy from Edward Jones.  He didn’t seem to recognize me, he left and then came back in.  My guess is that my car license plate reminded him of who I am.  He said “Kris, right?”  I said “yes” and we started chatting. 

Kris Miner license plate

He was asking about SCVRJP, I mentioned being busy, that I was meeting with volunteers soon to take a case.  He agreed, busy is good.  I mentioned that I spent the evening writing a grant.  He mentioned how important our work is, I joked that I was hoping he was on the review panel for the grant.

Then he shared more information with me.  He used to supervise the Restorative Justice program for the Woodbury MN, police department.  We chatted about the international leader in Restorative Justice Dave Hines.  I had a story about getting River Falls Police Department Officers engaged in Restorative Justice.  Then Mike shared the following story.

While patrolling one night, he caught a teen out vandalizing the neighborhood.  He acknowledged the kid was doing something “dumb”.  The case went to Restorative Justice.  Then 8 or 9 years later, Mike ran into this young person at a coffee shop.  He asked Mike “Do you remember me?”.  The former youth offender explained the scene and Mike remembered.  The young person went on to explain that doing restorative justice turned his life around.  From the moment he understood directly from the victims, what he had done, it changed him.

I had a big smile from this story.  Mike related the good feeling he had, knowing that it had that impact.  Then he offered to help me out and volunteer!  Awesome, a volunteer that has already been part of cases, someone that “gets it”.  I took his card and assured him I would follow up with getting him a confidentiality agreement, and I thought of a case already!

Then on top of it all, Mike mentioned the Prescott Foundation.  Yes, we had recieved funding in the past, I needed to finish another application.  Mike smiled and mentioned he was on the board of directors.  Score again.  : )

I love my life, my place in the community and my role as a non-profit leader.  Mostly I love what Restorative Justice does.  It really is transformative, it gets people to invest.  Invest in each other.

Gotta run, I’ve got a new volunteer application to process!

Have a safe and happy 4th of July!

Distracting Circlekeeper technique and suggestions for being centered.

This happened a few years ago, but for some reason it popped in my head recently.  I remember it vividly, and I was thinking how amazing it was that the Circle went well despite the Circlekeeper.

Maybe it was me, but I want to share the story to offer you some learning about your Circlekeeping.

Let me start by reminding you that Circlekeeping is different than “chairing” a meeting or facilitating a group discussion.

You “become one” with the Circle.

The Zenkeeping – Circlekeeper

Basically your position in the group is “with”, not “2″ them, not “4″ them.  It takes practice if you are used to ‘authority’ approach.  You want to have enough confidence and structure about the Circle process that your instructions regarding the Circle, are taken and translated into actions. 

For example honoring the talking piece.  Your role in Circle is to Role Model, the process.  I got some feedback at the last training I did.  Someone shared she had been watching me “listen”.  She observed I was not doing all the traditional ‘good’ listening tasks (eye contact, nodding).   It was acknowledged that I was still listening, it was that I was taking it to heart, nonjudgmentally. 

To me, nodding would have been placing my acceptance on the speaker.  The person with the talking piece is to speak without interuption and speak from the heart.  My responding to that would be giving feedback to the speaker.  That is an interuption.

So the distracting technique I experience, the story for this post.

     I was participating in a Circle as a community member.  I felt comfortable since I knew so much about how the Circle process worked.  I knew my own style was developing and it was important for me to be open to someone else’s way.  Then I became uncomfortable with the Circle keeper.  She was “correcting” people about how the talking piece was handled.  Her value was that we should be seeking it with our left hand, or taking it from the person, only using our left hand.  The keeper would interupt the process, and point or say something to the person who basically, was doing it wrong.   This way was hard to remember, the piece passed to the left, so you had to use the hand opposite the person who was handing it to you.  I felt shamed and worried I would use the wrong hand and get scolded.  I started to squeeze my left thumb as a reminder to use that hand when accepting the talking piece.  As my mind was here, I realized my heart was not listening to the speaker.  I tried to focus on both.  Then the keeper started doing follow up inquiry questions to the boys in the group.  The boys were not the community members.  As community members we didn’t get follow up questions when we spoke.  I felt uncomfortable with the Circlekeeper, for me it seemed she was acting more powerful than any of us.  I was weighing in my mind that her heart was in the right place.   The Circle was decent some people opened up, I wondered how good and deep we would have gone if we were equals.

 

I don’t know about your style of Circlekeeping – - I would recommend remembering that you are “one” of the members.  Hold equal worth and value for each person.  I try not to ever interupt, with my body or voice.  If you are a keeper who speaks when not holding the talking piece, take a deep reflection on what it might be doing for the process.  Maybe keeping silent will actually do more.

 

St Croix Valley Restorative Justice Program – innovative and outstanding!

I’ve got to explain something about  St. Croix Valley Restorative Justice.

We are cutting edge, awesome.  We have taken the Restorative Justice Circle process and applied to two key public health issues – underage drinking and safe teen driving.

We are now offering copies of our MN Public Television Program – the documentary On the Road Together: Safe Teen Driving.  The DVD can be purchased for $15 plus S & H.  If requested a Circle keeping guide to be used after viewing the DVD is available for an additional $10.

This post includes more on the Safe Teen Driving Circles and a link to short video.  This blog contains a specific category for posts on Safe Teen Driving Circles.

If you are looking for a new program to fund, evaluate or research – let’s talk!

SCVRJP is having some positive, positive feedback.  Using Restorative Justice and community members – these programs are creating change.

Both Underage Consumption Panels and Safe Teen Driving Circles are low-cost to implement – for great return.  Please contact us if your agency would be interested in hosting a training session.  Train-the-trainer programming is being developed!

The Restorative Justice storyteller, is a hero, transforming hearts, opening minds.

SCVRJP had a board of directors meeting tonight.  A strategic planning meeting and it went quite well.  I have recently really framed my role as one of support and being a resource to the board.  (it would take an entirely different post to explain).

I offered the resource of having board members tell a story about seeing SCVRJP doing it’s best to fullfill our mission.  The mission is to build and sustain a culture of peace & belonging utilizing restorative justice principles and programs in our community.

The first story was how our victim impact panels make such an influence on people.  The board member has another role in education/required class for the same offenders that attend our required Victim Impact Panel.  He said that in an hour and a half our programs makes more of a different than the 24 hours he has with them. 

In the hour and a half I have them, they are hearing stories.

Restorative Justice speakers/storytellers are victims or offenders – who willinging share their experiences.  The worst thing they ever did, or the worst thing that ever happened to them. 

Think for just a second about telling that story, from your own life. 

What comes to mind for you?  What happened in your life that is the worst.  The worst thing you ever did.  The worse thing that every happened to you.  For most of us, we’ve had pretty run of the mill lives.  Most of us, not all of us.  If you didn’t immediately have something come to mind, and you had to think of it, consider yourself very fortunate.

What if you wanted to tell that story.  Imagine you really, really wanted to talk about the worst thing.  Who do you tell?  Your friends, your family.  Those people have probably heard it, lived through it with you. 

Where would you go to tell this story.  What if it was so traumatic, you can hardly make sense of it.  Maybe saying it outloud helps you get your feet on the ground. 

Restorative Justice offers people a place for their stories.  I LOVE working with speakers.  I LOVE encouraging them.  Speakers know the story better than anyone else.  They become the story, when they let go enough to speak from the heart.  The outcomes are amazing.

In victim impact panels, we ask our audience of offenders, to be the community and witness the stories of our speakers.  We don’t treat them like a “room full of drunks”.  We don’t look down or judge anyone, we encourage a different choice next time.

When victims, offenders and community members come together to do restorative justice, they are creating a NEW story about the harm that happened.  The characters are reassembling.  The victim did not give permission for the vandalism to occur.  The offender did not even know who he harmed.  The incident, the act itself tied victim and offender together – the story told with the same characters helps people finish it up and add another chapter.

Listen to a story today.  Ask someone to tell you a story about someone.  If you get a chance, come hear or tell a story in a Restorative Justice process.

School-Based Restorative Justice – Training Opportunity

FOUR full days of Restorative Justice in Schools – August 3 – 6 River Falls Wisconsin.

STAR Academy sponsored by CESA 11.  To register:  http://www.cesa11.k12.wi.us/prodev/star.cfm

The training will be interactive and fun.  Featuring guest speakers and opportunities to develop your skills!

Please join me!  Call or email with any questions.  715-425-1100 or scvrjp@gmail.com.

 

Hope to see you there!